Guten Morgen, Leute! For short story Thursday I have a really short piece I wrote just this past week. I drew inspiration from a painting by Edward Hopper which I will leave below for you to see! Hopefully this is an interesting piece for you all to read. It kinda just came to me one day and I decided to write. Hope you enjoy!
And So I Smiled
The pulse of a moment holds so much power. The thump, thump that resounds in a person’s ribcage seems so insignificant in the heat of a moment. No one else can hear it but it’s practically living within you. No one else can feel it, but it’s there, it’s real. There’s something earthshattering about that moment and yet there’s something so normal about it, so absolutely, horrifyingly normal that you learn to ignore it.
I’d grown used to the unfeelingness of the world around me. I’d grown used to the painfully normal, insignificant feeling of that constant thumping in my chest that told me that something was going to happen. And yet, for all that I told myself that something was going to happen, nothing ever did. Sitting on my bed, I watched as the sun rose and I watched as it set. Day after day, the same thing.
As I walked on the beach and watched as the leaves chased each other in the wind, I couldn’t help but feel that there was supposed to be something more than this unending chase—this unending search for the meaning of my life. But there never seemed to be anything there. It was always just me. Alone as I walked down the street. Alone as I ate my meals.
But there was some relief to be found in being alone as I stared into the cup of coffee that I poured for myself morning after morning. There was some sort of life found in the face that stared back at me in the mirror.
And yet, it’s lonely. It’s oddly disappointing to wake up from a ridiculous dream and have no one to laugh with about it. It’s just… empty. There’s nothing there.
I don’t remember anymore why I decided that it was best for me to be alone. Perhaps I never did consciously decide on it. Perhaps it just… happened upon me.
Yet, somewhere along the way, I made a choice. I had to have, didn’t I? Choices are made every day and we don’t even realize it sometimes. Choices aren’t always as simple as choosing this or that—whatever this and that might be. More often than not, a choice is made in simple, every day gestures such as smiling at a person or not smiling at them, or staying or leaving. Perhaps, somewhere along the line I was in a hurry and didn’t smile at someone who could have become a friend. Or, perhaps someone once loved me but I’d chosen to leave instead of to stay.
I put my book down on my bed quietly, willing myself to get up. I left the house, not bothering to slip on my shoes and spun around, inhaling the spring air and the faint smell of flowers, and feeling every individual blade of grass between my toes. When I came to a stop, I didn’t mind that my hair was all in my face or that the bottoms of my feet were almost certainly stained green from the grass. All I heard was the faint sound of a chuckle and when I looked up, I knew that perhaps now was my chance to make a choice.
And so, I smiled.
And that’s it for me today! Hope you enjoyed! Since this piece was meant to be somewhat summer-inspired (it finally got pretty warm in Seattle and stopped raining for once!), what are you most looking forward to this summer? Danke und tschüss!